Wednesday, 11 November 2015

Some People Actually Didn't Realise the Debate was a Total Circus

 Our reporters were in shock this morning to discover that there are some people who didn't realise last night's debate was actually a complete and total pantomime.

The debate, if you can call it that, was between President Barrack Obama and presidential hopeful Republican Mitt Romney, although it might as well have been between a goldfish and a cheese and bacon sandwich.

Yet to speak to some members of the general public, one would think that something relevant had happened.

"Mitt Romney was on form!" declared one Republican voter. "His personality and debating skills are obviously more than enough to get us out of our $15 trillion dollar debt."

Some Obama supporters were equally as deluded.

"I'm very disappointed in Obama. I know he's killed thousands of innocent people in Pakistan with drones, implemented a police state, given billions of our dollars to Goldman Sachs, and destroyed the economy, but after his performance last night, I can't help feeling a bit let down. I'm not even sure I can trust him now."

Even some swing voters didn't think the debate was a complete waste of time.

"2 hours and not one mention of Iran." said one undecided voter. "They obviously don't have any intention to illegally invade Iran straight after the election, or one of them would have mentioned it."

It was pretty much the same story across America. Despite the debate having as much purpose as a tea room in an iphone factory, a surprising number of people felt that two rich men arguing over how best to steal money from the poor was actually going to change the fact that the world is $49 trillion in debt to itself.