Saturday, 14 November 2015
NRA Says Paris Attacks Could Have Been Avoided If Everyone Was Upgraded to a Killer Cyborg
The National Rifle Association has again jumped on a tragedy to justify its ridiculous agenda.
"If the people of Paris had been armed, they might have been able to fight back against the terrorists." said spokesperson Colin Noit. A member of the press conference then informed him that the terrorists were well trained and armed with Kalashnikovs, and that some of them, notably the suicide bombers, weren't even carrying guns.
"Ok,", he pondered. "Then we need to up our game." Thinking for a few seconds, he eventually responded.
"Cyborgs!" Noit cried out to a bewildered press conference. "What we need is for every man, woman and child to be upgraded to a killer cyborg!"
He went on.
"With a titanium endo-skeleton members of the public can become invincible to crazed shooters. Infrared sensors can be plugged into their eyes, enabling early detection of terrorist activity. And built-in shoulder rocket turrets will allow them to fight back, and reclaim their freedom."
"We're tired of people getting hurt because of these bleeding heart liberals oppressing our rights to replace our knees with high powered laser cannons."