Tuesday, 20 August 2013

Man Puts Sugar on Frosties

Not content with the sugar already built into Frosties, a local man was seen putting no less than 3 teaspoons of sugar onto his bowl on Wednesday.

A spokesperson from Kelloggs said that “This kind of thing has never been tried before” and that Kelloggs themselves are “unaware of the possible implications” of putting sugar on Frosties.

“We would strongly recommend against this practice”.

Onlookers at the cafe were shocked. One woman said: “I didn’t even realize you could put sugar on Frosties!”

Saturday, 20 April 2013

Economy Boosted by Increase of Minimalists

A new trend of “not spending much” has resulted in a much needed boost to the world economy. Minimalists everywhere are spending money hand over fist to buy the latest minimalist paraphernalia.

Sales of Minimalist books have gone through the roof, with minimalists around the world spending their money to find out how not to spend their money.

We spoke to one such minimalist, known to his friends as “Frugal Bill”, to ask him what he had done recently to free himself from the tyranny of consumerism.

“Well I’ve bought a new greenhouse, so I can grow my own food and not have to go to the supermarket. And we’ve replaced all our furniture with stuff from Ikea, you know, with those little baskets where you can hide your junk. I’ve also built a chicken coop out of ice cream sticks. Man we ate a lot of ice cream that month.”

Bill’s wife Esther explained how their habits had changed since adopting a minimalist lifestyle. “Oh we’re so much kinder to the environment now. Instead of our horrible, fossil fuel powered gas heating, we spend our evenings around a good old wood burner, just like the old days.”

“It’s so nice to be free of possessions, to live our lives as nature intended.” added Bill, as they drove off down the public road in their manufactured car.