Saturday, 3 September 2011

Escalator Breaks Down, Doesn’t Cause Too Many Problems

An escalator broke down today at a local shopping mall. The patrons of the mall were forced to walk down the stationary steps. The incident didn’t cause too many problems.

Idiot Earth spoke to Bob Stepford, who just happened to be out buying a new stepladder.

“It didn’t cause too many problems.” he said. The great thing about escalators is that when they break down, they just become stairs.”

 In other news, a sea plane broke down off the Santa Monica coast. This didn’t cause too many problems, as the plane just became a boat.

Saturday, 5 February 2011

Dozens Burnt in Disco Fire, Mistook Evacuation Instructions for a Cascada Remix

Tragedy struck a local disco last night, when dozens of dancers were caught in a blaze that spread through the building. It’s said that the party goers ignored instructions to “Evacuate the dance floor”, believing the announcement to be the DJ putting his own spin on the Cascada song of the same name.

Club owner Richie Mann said it was a tragic series of events. “The fire was spreading so we stopped the music and made the announcements. Unfortunately there was a miscommunication and the punters carried on dancing. They even cheered louder when the room filled with smoke.”

He continued. “We tried to get the message through but everything we tried just got them more excited. I would advise that musicians think carefully in future about how they name their songs and what implications it might have.”

Mr Mann even took it upon himself to attempt to clarify the announcements, but reportedly his use of the words “disco inferno” only exacabated the situation.